1914-2009

I never thought that after the last post things would change so much. A little over a week ago, My grandfather, the one this blog is about, passed away. Ago was 94. He was in and out of hospitals and nursing homes for about five weeks. Apparently, back during Memorial Day, he might of suffered some kind of stroke affected his swallowing. Food and water would not go to his stomach, but to his lungs, and that would cause him to have aspirated pneumonia. A feeding tube was then inserted in him and then that was his demise. Once he had the feeding tube, I began to notice he was no longer the Ago that I knew. I didn't want to think that things would never go back to the way they were, but once he went to rehab (to relearn how to swallow) I think we all had a feeling.

So now he is physically gone but he lives on in us and our memories. Though, I don't think I realized how big of a part of my life he was. It seems like there is a big empty hole in my life. I keep waiting for him to come back, but yet I know that he isn't. Last weekend, I went to his place to pick out a few things that I wanted. Some of the things that he had were special to me and instead of throwing them out or giving them away i brought them back with me. But, I couldn't bring myself to go through his closet too much because I kept thinking he's going to be back and he's not going to be able to find anything. I didn't want to clean the dishes because that was probably one of the last things he did before he was taken to the hospital. It was difficult because everything evoked so many memories. I inventoried his vitamins and i remember when he bought some of them. The frustration on my face when he would tell me the name of the one and I had no f-ing idea of what he was talking about. Still brings me a smile. I realize that i well never have one of those moments again.

Right now, I'm thinking and feeling different emotions, but as time progresses I'll be able to organize my thoughts into what I want to say.

By the way, this is the last picture we took of Ago. It might be hard to see but Ago was smiling in the picture. He was super excited because we were going to "that store" and the Vitamin Shoppe, so it was a double outing. On the carrito is the "I'm A Longhorn Grandpa" bumper sticker. I couldn't help myself from putting it on! This is also classic Ago, hat, bastón, and carrito, three things we can never leave home without.

Warehouse in the closet

Many times I have taken Ago to his "candy store" aka the Vitamin Shoppe. Every time we went he'd buy a lot. I mean, I'm pretty sure there have been sometimes when that store has been in the red and then Ago comes along and well....half an hour later they're in the green. First we'd get the regular stuff, like vitamin B 12, Kelp, Flax Seed Oil, and calcium. Then he'd be more daring and try some new things that he read about in his go-to, factoid book Recetas Que Curan. He has two copies, both in Spanish, and according to him they are the most useful books he's ever read. He swears by them. (Big thanks to my mother for giving him one as a gift...haha). Anyways, I always wondered, since we were buying the same things every month, how fast does he go through everything? Well....i learned that it takes sometime to finish the dosage and in the meantime you keep buying until it get to the point that you have a warehouse of vitamins and supplements in your closet. (His hat collection is also visible. We never leave home without one!)

It looks like he's either hoarding his things or waiting to sell them....but to whom? It scares me that this many pills. I understand a couple here and there for certain issues, but come on! All he's missing is Muscle Milk and Redline then he'll actually be the Vitamin Shoppe. Here's a close up:

Same with the 1L and 1.5L bottles of Evian, hoarding....OR stocking up for hurricane season? haha. By the way, Evian is the ONLY water Ago will drink. I hear AGUA! AGUA! EVIAN Y NADA MAS! every time we're at Kroger. I have literately seen this man drop some serious cash for Evian (not as much as the Vitamin Shoppe, though), as obvious by this picture.

Happenings

I've taken a longer break from blogging than I thought. Not that I was actively posting before but I had started a habit of blogging at least something every couple of days. But then Ago was hospitalized and I was in no mood to express any ideas. The situation has been a bit surreal as seeing that I never thought that this would ever happen to my grandfather. The timeline goes a little like this: first, Memorial Day weekend Ago suffered a stroke that caused him to lose the ability to swallow. Whatever he swallows does not down his esophagus, it will go down his trachea into the lungs which can lead to pulmonary aspiration, aka pneumonia. Pneumonia + 94 year old Ago = not good. So, after almost a week in the hospital Ago got a feeding tube to get his nutrients and then was transported to a rehabilitation center to relearn how to swallow (many comments on this later). Then, Ago didn't even spend a week in rehab, before he ended up back in the hospital. I knew this was going to happen, going to rehab wasn't going to help that much. How is a 94 year old man supposed to learn how to swallow? How is Ago supposed to learn how to swallow? He is the most stubborn person I know, it if somethings not done his way he won't do it, and on top of that he thinks he is cured. He doesn't understand the complexity of the situation.

My mother has been using the word "surreal" to describe the situation. I can't speak for her what she is going through, but it is surreal for me also. The relationship between Ago and everyone is the family is different. I always believed that My brother and I got the softer side of him (if it even exists) because we are his grandchildren. And I like to believe that I knew Ago at his best, even though there have been some ugly times. That's why this is so surreal, I'm seeing a different side of him. I'm seeing helpless Ago: Ago in his hospital bed, needing assistance to move. I've never seen helpless Ago. This man is always on the move. I turn around at HEB and he's already moved on to the next section.

I will say this: he's still being assertive and stubborn, which is exhausting for everyone but also assuring because he still got it.