Sparmenglish on repeat

Sparmenglish is something I have been working on for more or less five years now. By working on I mean writing the same damn thing over. I seriously have pieces of paper with the same words written on them. Words like:

• "How I used Sparmenglish to communicate with my gparents..."
• "It started as a way for me to communicate with my gparents..."
• "We mixed words from each language because we didn't know them in the one language..."

I'm tired of this. I want to take it to a new degree. But I'm at point where I don't know how to do it. Ever since my grandfather died, I haven't really explored or used Sparmenglish. I turned in a paper about how Sparmenglish was more than a language solution it was also how I identified myself. This is relatively new idea for me, and this is where the story is, if there is one. How do I bring the languages and the cultures that they imply together. I unify and then confuse them of course!

The Meaning of Dreams?

Wowza. Crazy dream last night. I was traveling to see my paternal grandparents who live in Deleware. My parents were already there, everyone was just waiting for me to arrive (in my dreams, and in real-life I tend to take my sweet ol' time). I finally arrived and when I went over to hug my grandma I saw Ago. I stopped hugging my grandmother and went over to my deceased maternal grandfather where I couldn't stop hugging him. I couldn't believe that he was alive. I think I made my grandma upset because she gave me a disappointing look (however this may be because of some weight I've put on recently which I'm trying desperately to take off). My family wanted to go out and do somethings, however I wanted to spend all of my time with my Ago.

The next part of my dream that I remember was really bizarre. I managed to lose my gpops! I guess Ago wanted to go shopping (what else is new:) ) at some of the stores on the main street and I didn't know which ones. I remember running up and down the street looking for him, thinking that he was going to be in the next one! I even managed to get a calf workout with all the running because I managed to climb some steel/metal steps. My legs were burning and they had never felt that way before. I guess this is a sign that I need to work out more?? Yeah, and I don't know what the siginificance of the steel material is but I never found him because I woke up.

I laid in bed for a couple of minutes after that. Just thinking of my dream. It seemed so real. I was actually hugging him! In my dream I felt myself trying position my self so that I could fit comfortably and hug him because of his hunch. I guess I'm just missing him more these days. Last spring was actually the last time I saw him as the Ago I knew.

My friend and ex-roommate knows that I tend to have these crazy-ass dreams. There have been several times when I have bombarded her with their summaries. And something similar in my dream has actually happened in real life! Scary right?? We'll...because of this I got a dream dictionary with the psychological significance and the astrological meaning of dreams. So I guess I have to go consult with them. Speaking of astrology...I need to get back to studying for that astronomy test! grrrrrrrrrrrr

April

It seems that everyone I've been talking with lately all have the same question: "Is it April already?" I can't believe it either. April. So much to do in April. It's the last full month of classes before my schedule gets topsy-turvy for finals; Easter, which is surprisingly early this year (or at least I think it is); Armenian Genocide Remembrance day (April 24th); and of course, probably the most important date in April, my mother's birthday.

But now, April has a more significant meaning for me. It was the calm before the storm, it was the last month that Ago lived normally. He did his normal routine: woke up at 4 am, ate, exercised, read, ate, read, napped, went to the grocery store/Vitamin Shoppe, ate lunch, read, napped, ate a light dinner, read, got ready for bed, went to bed at 8 pm. As you can see he lead an exciting life. But he did this normal routine and it was his life before his life got disrupted.

This was also the month that my mother found the English translation of "The Armenian Golgotha" the book that documented the most dramatic and comprehensive eyewitnesses of The Genocide. This book is meaningful to us because it has a passage about Ago's father, where it basically chronicles his death. This was the first text in English to put in words what happened to my family history. This was the first text that allowed the rest of the world to know and understand not only what happened to my family and other families like mine, but also why The Armenian Genocide is such an issue more than 90 years after it occurred: because it was wrong and because it is denied today. But most importantly this put my great-grandfather in existence, he lived, this happened to him, and who can deny that?